It's surgery time

Time again for an up update. Donald is in surgery and I am in the waiting room. It's usually been then other way around so I'm trying to behave. Donald almost fell again this morning, thank goodness the OR guy was there and grabbed him for me. I'm not sure if this is a side effect from the Coreg, syncope is listed so that may need to be addressed later.

Everyone has been very nice, even though sometimes I'm probably not. Don's nephrologist and the Hospitalist were in and we like both of them very much. I forgot to ask why the lab has to be drawn at 0100 but I'll ask the nurse today when we get back to the room. That one is still a mystery to me unless they were doing a scheduled trough and he's not on anything to require that.....

I feel thankful for the well wishes of so many friends and the support of my nurse friends especially.

A view from the night shift

I decided to spend the night and here's what I found, not only is the staff awake but the patients are too, or at least one is. Lab draws at 0100, vital signs at 0130 and why you ask? I can't answer and I'm left to make my own conclusions. Convenience, and not the patient's? Don told me there were alot of people in and out of his room at night and now I understand! Add to that alarms going off, his room directly across from the nurses station with his door left open, the general noise of a busy renal unit and it's easy to understand why he is so tired during the day

Last Friday my husband walked in here very out of breath but under his own steam. Today he is a "patient" and all that entails ; lack of independence and choice, an object to poke and prod. The nurses are very nice, as is everyone who Don has come in contact with. But I somehow think the longer we stay here the more ground we are losing.

Maybe I am directing the anxiety that comes from the big changes we face, Dialysis and the forever life style alterations it brings. Maybe it is the lack of control I feel in this environment, an environment where I want to say stop for a minute and let us process what's going on. But there is no stopping and we are swept up in this health care machine whether we like it or not.

Life is Short

My husband and I have been nurses for over 30 years and find ourselves in the uncomfortable role of patient and family. He was admitted to the hospital last Friday and his world and mine are totally out of our control. Everything is now someone else's timetable and priority. I missed the physician rounds yesterday and the nurse would not call the doctors so I could talk to them. I have no access to their on call numbers so I just had to accept it. One of the Docs was still on the floor and when the nurse told him I wanted to talk to him he said he would "if he had time". What???

I am going to keep track of this hospitalization and I am probably going to end up embarrassing my husband whom thinks we should accept this callousness without making a scene. I am trying to put the situation in my Buddhist perspective but It may not last much longer. This is the same system that touts personalizing the patient experience. My question is, when does it start?